Hello World!

So, I viewed my blog stats fully expecting it to reflect only my own page views through repeated edits, and lo and behold - there are 16 views from Serbia?! and 3 from Germany! This has to be bot-related... maybe some automated micro-blog survellaince irregular test of the European internet provider systems. I just can't imagine how humans in other parts of the globe would have stumbled upon this site (google search "rambling"). Well, welcome my international audience! As my page views have dramatically decreased since my first post, I don't expect that I captured your long-term attention but it was fun while it lasted.

Gym Day 2

This did happen yesterday - against the odds. 30 min on treadmill, 2.16 miles and 190 calories burned- I know the treadmill is probably not accurate when it comes to stats but I'm recording anyway. 

48 days to go...

p.s. I was in a rush post-exercise and didn't stretch as usual and I consequently feel more sore. 

p.s.s. I'm grateful to wake up later than most on workdays (later shift and easy commute) but it's still so hard for me to get out of bed to an alarm. It doesn't help that I went to bed after 2 am because I recently got into Breaking Bad. Yes, I'm behind the times, having just started Season 2. I'm enjoying it so far. This post is especially bland b/c I'm sleep deprived and workout sore, and a big baby in the morning.

The Monster Wins Again!

Costco offers gift towers/baskets that are nice presents for the holidays. We usually brave the cold, congested parking and checkout lines to fit in a Costco trip to pick these up for neighbors and friends. This year, I was delighted to learn that you can purchase from Costco online and shipping costs were included in the online prices - feeding an illusion of free shipping that was well worth it to avoid the hassles of in-store purchasing and transporting. 

Here's an example:

$24.99 including 3-5 day delivery and tax!

The BEFORE pic:

AFTER:

The picture above does not reflect ingested items including but not limited to chocolate covered pretzels, an unspecifiable number of cookies and a "couple" of truffles. 

Even during my most dire cravings, butterscotch hard candies would hardly be tempting- hence the only level of the tower that remains unplundered. 

p.s. If you come from a similar background (the foliage is a clue), then you won't even question the plastic on the sofa. 

p.s.s. Sorry Aunty (#3 on my Dad's side) for leveling your tower- how's some fruitcake instead?

Gym - Day 1

It snowed yesterday which was all the excuse I needed to hole up and hibernate in the house. I told myself I would need to conserve my muscles in case shoveling would be required and that would count towards a workout, as I ate my way through a bag of Spicy Nacho Doritos to give me the sustenance I'd need. 

 

After experimenting with various alternate Doritos flavors, including the Ranch Dipped Hot Wings- which ironically didn't work for me because they tasted like ranch dipped hot wings- Spicy Nacho reigns supreme among my junk food indiscretions. I can't do this any more Spicy... I must quit you except for a three-night stand here or there. By the way, I have this tendency to alternate between satisfying savory and sweet cravings, in the same half hour, multiple reps. 

Thankfully, no shoveling was required because the snow melted by this morning (Update - I learned that actually my brother shoveled! Wow - impressive). Instead, I finally made it to the gym today- I logged 30 minutes on the treadmill, 2.13 miles (I'm doing intervals and it took me over 13 minutes to finish a mile) and the treadmill indicated 190 calories burned. That's only about half a red velvet cupcake... and who only eats one (or two) cupcakes at a time? Tell me who that person is!? So I can eat their remaining cupcakes!!

Anyway, I do notice I'm able to manage my inner sugar-addicted monster somewhat better after exercising, so no cupcakes... yet... largely because they're not in the house. My will is no fortress against goodies that have already breached the home/vision perimeter, and I've been known to leave the house exclusively for junk food runs. I don't understand why it's such a struggle to exercise when it's very convenient for me to do so and I feel great afterwards - one of the mysteries of life.

This was Day 1- 49 more to go to qualify for gym reimbursement and for a bikini body. I realize I'm going to have to fit in core and strength training to achieve the latter but baby steps...

By the way, if it wasn't apparent already, this is a blog about nothing!

p.s. I should note my measurements and not just weight on the scale. I presently have no measuring tape at hand.

p.s.s. blogging is way more convenient with a smart phone- which I only transitioned to a few months ago. I was one of the last humans to let go of their flip phones, despite being eligible for an upgrade for well over a year. I didn't want to pay more and Verizon's smart phone plans are structured so unscrupulously - on principle, this annoys me but not enough to switch from their reliable service. I also didn't consider a smart phone necessary because I'm in front of a desktop computer at work and have a laptop at home. But man, I love this thing! I still don't know how to use it for its full functionality but I'm very pleased to get with the times. This blogger app lets me write on a whim so maybe I will actually keep up with blogging? We shall see. 

Struggling right now...

to make myself go to the gym. 

Update later that evening: Instead of going to the gym, I drank Jamaican rum punch, ate a second lunch and fell asleep for two hours - @&!!!!??

What's for dinner? 

p.s. myfitnesspal phone app indicates that I am at a surplus of 18 calories for the day... A more intuitive app would have included "and counting..."

p.s.s. the gym closes early today otherwise I could have/should have/would or would not have gone now.

Running Bucket List

In no particular order...

1) JC-JL-JW-JM and Big J projects (may expound in a future post)
2) Win a "big-prize" poker tournament
3) Write an original screenplay featuring comedic genius Aziz Ansari
4) Write an original time travel screenplay
5) Make my Maha-adaptation into a movie
6) Not be the 40-year old Virgin unless that's for the best, because then I'm ok with that but then keep this status on the down low
7) Have a bikini body in Vegas in 2014
8) Win a Grammy
9) Win an Oscar
10) In 2014, wear the damn freakum dresses hanging in the back of my closet that I purchased in 2012 as motivation to work out but never wore even once
To be continued...

p.s. The name of this blog is based on the notion that the maha (great) epic comes into being by the same principles that get me to fit back into my pants.

The Resolution

In 2010, I purchased mosquito-repellant cargo pants planning only to wear them during a trip I was reluctantly taking abroad.
http://www.insectshield.com/Womens-Canvas-Carpenter-Pant-P253.aspx

Circa 2012, no longer fitting comfortably into any other pants/jeans, I wore the mosquito pants almost exclusively.

This morning, to my extreme annoyance but by my own doing, I was no longer able to zip up my freaking "fat pants."

I hereby resolve to:
1) Qualify for my gym reimbursement by June 2014. I've been wasting money for membership to a gym I don't use, but if I would use it 50 times in 6 months I'd be reimbursed $200 under my health insurance plan. Day 1 starts today.

2) Break my sugar addiction and document my meals using this app:
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/

3) Write.

Short term goal - Fit back into the mosquito pants
Long term goals include - The J's (better left to a later blog/forever unspoken)
See Running Bucket List Post...